Street meditation: Trust as a Spiritual Practice

Many Indians ask me why so many foreigners come here to learn mediation and yoga when so many Indians don’t practice. .

Walking down the street in India is a meditation!  The sidewalk here in Pune is an obstacle course. So much so that people don’t even use the sidewalk because you constantly have to be manuvering around trees, practically jumping off huge curbs, tripping over rocks from sidewalk construction abandoned midway, falling into unmarked holes, or getting decapitated by almost invisible cables or wires. One must be aware to even walk down the street or you’ll end up in a catastrophe. You need to be aware of yourself and your surroundings, and that is in the present moment. Sidewalks here are like a good idea gone wrong. The people have put so much time into putting down these stones on the road…and yet what’s the point? Walking next to traffic is almost easier as long as you get out of the way when a loud one comes behind you.

I finally understand the meaning of the term, “street smarts” because crossing the street here in India requires a sixth sense to know when it’s your turn to go. Traffic rules like stop lights, cross walks, the direction of traffic, they are all merely “suggestions” here. It is an act of trust and courage to step out after 5 minutes of attempting to wait for a break between vehicles. If there are other Indians crossing or even other pedestrians, there is power in numbers. But when you have to cross alone,  you step forward in trust. Sometimes one is standing in the middle of the road with traffic whizzing on either side, and you have to trust that they see you. Even if it’s the middle of the night and you are wearing dark colors and no reflector vest and some of the cars don’t have their lights on.

Osho was talking about trust last night in the video we watched. He was talking about how trust is more powerful than love because love comes and goes, ebbs and waves. He told a story about having a cleptomaniac as a roommate in college. The man wasn’t a thief because he didn’t steal valuable things. So whenever Osho couldn’t find something, he would look in the cupboard of his roommate. He would find it, use it, and put it back in his roommates cupboard. He said there was no harm in it, he’s not hurting anybody; he simply enjoys. . One cold day he took Osho’s jacket to class, so Osho took his jacket. Osho ran into his roommate on campus and the roommate said, “you are wearing my jacket.” Osho said, “yes, something has happened to mine. Someone took it.” This is while the roommate is wearing his jacket, but Osho doesn’t point that out. So the roommate says, “yeah, you can’t trust people these days.” Then the roommate says, you are the only person who doesn’t protest when I take your things. Osho says, “What? You enjoy. I just let you be who you are.” Then Osho takes him to a psychotherapist because so many other people are complaining about their things being taken and because their dorm room is getting a bit full. The roommate is at first is reluctant, so Osho says, “Don’t worry, he has nice things.”  Eventually the roommate steals the therapist couch and the therapist says he can’t work with him anymore. The roommate would always admit he had stolen and return the item when asked. He simply had a mental disorder where he liked to steal, and he was lucky enough to have a roommate who accepted him and wanted to help him.

What is trust? How can we have trust in life and the world without waiting until someone is trustworthy or they’ve earned our trust? To live life in trust, maybe then others would respond differently knowing they are trusted…to be themselves, loving and fully present.

Work as Meditation

I am just getting over a head cold. What? In India? Isn’t it supposed to be nice and I am on holiday….It’s a combination of taking in conflict instead of either letting it pass through me or grounding it. That’s what stress can do.

I came to India to learn to be in the eye of the storm. To be peaceful in the midst of chaos. Little did I know at the time I set this intention it is directly related to my experience of work. I used to think that stress came from the outside, from stressful situations. This job is stressful, these people, this situation. But I realize now it is actually from within. A fear response gone wrong by the programming of society to always “get it right.” Compete, compare, get farther.

I’m really learning not take myself so damn seriously. Melding the world of meditation with the world of work. The work as meditation program here at the Osho Meditation Resort has taught me more than anything that I can be playful and the more I bring my full self to every work task, the more abundance there will be. And if it doesn’t end up fruitful or I make a mistake, it’s not a rejection of my full self. I am learning to show up in life, totally. All the time. And not wait for 5pm or until this one thing is finished to be enjoying my existance. Learning to live intensely, but with the delight of ease not tension.

Learning….

…to not take “no” personally.

…to not take “yes” personally, and yet at the same time, know that it can be.

…to communicate without manipulation. I don’t have to compliment, make small talk, express interest, or touch someone in order to ask them to do something–especially if it is my job. This is learning to be okay with having power. To not be intimidated by having power. And when I ask, it’s not a favor I’m asking, it’s a request.

…to be present with myself and what’s happening in my body. Noticing stress as a fluttering in my chest and a choke at my throat, a tension in my jaw or shoulders. And using the breath to come back here now and continue my action.

…to tell people to wait. Discernment in what can wait, and well, everything can wait. Even if someone doesn’t want to wait, it’s good for them…to learn patience.

…that’s it’s all life, not on the clock, off the clock. It just is…existance.

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..to explore where I make decisions from. I have come a long way, consciously or unconsciously. Making decisions from a place of…Will it make my parents love me more? What will people think of me? What’s the logical decision? What does my heart say? And now, now there is something even deeper happening in my gut. An intuition that is activated when I let go of needing to make the “right” decision.

I decided to stay at the Osho International Meditation Resort for another month. Which means no traveling through India…this time. Even with this, my ego is like, but what about all the pictures and exciting stories people love? Not as exciting going inward. Not as many stories, but I am finding myself in there somewhere. And this relationship is growing, this relationship I have with myself.

I realize how much I have avoided being with myself. I have used many things to avoid this relationship…alcohol, cigarettes, technology, sex, daydreaming, cleaning, other people. And that’s okay to do and use these things, but I also want to show up for myself. Luckily I get another opportunity every moment. We all do.

Whirling Into Myself

Little kids twirl all the time. They are not afraid of loosing themselves. When I was five I was turning circles in the kitchen when I lost balance and fell against the stove. I remember being shocked trying to breathe. The air wasn’t coming in. My mother came over, but what could she do? After a few gasps I recovered. “I couldn’t breath.”

“Oh, you got the wind knocked out of you,” she said. I remember being comforted realizing she knew what I had experienced. I was much more careful…or hesitant…after that in my turning.

In high school dance we learned to spot while turning, focusing on one point ahead, then 180 degrees behind to ensure we wouldn’t get disoriented through multiple turns. It worked and I knew exactly when to finish my turn and go into the next move facing to the crowd. I love turning when I dance–the way my skirt flares out, the washing away of all the energies, the excitement. Senior year at dance camp, one choreography included a jump turn. I landed wrong and sprained my ankle. It brought me back to when I was five, and the loss of control in turning. This time I didn’t lose my breathe; I hurt my body. 

Osho’s Whirling meditation is based on Sufi Whirling. You unfocus your eyes and look out at the blur of everything going by visually. Let go and let the world blur by as a symbol for emotions and experiences. It’s a practice in non-attachment and centering in the self. No interest or disinterest, but uninterest in the external. Instead one focuses inward on the the eye of the storm.

My first few times whirling, I spun so fast that I fell to the ground, mindfully thanks to my meditation practices. When you finish the meditation, either by falling or when the music stops, you roll onto your stomach and feel your center, the hara, just below the bellybutton touching the ground. In just 8 days, I noticed how much more easily I connect with my center while whirling. Whenever I start thinking during this meditation, I immediately get dizzy or nauseous. If I notice something visually and try to look at it each time I go around, again I get dizzy. When I do fall, it is a joy to witness the more experienced whirlers with their big skirts. These 2 small, blonde Russian twins who look the same, but one whirls in chaos, moving her arms; the other with a sense of calmness all about her.

Whirling is an immediate reminder to breathe, let go, and go inward. Remain unattached and watch it all go by. This instant feedback makes it a very conscious meditation by necessity. In sitting meditation sometimes my mind will wander off for 5 minutes before the watcher returns and notices the drama of past or future my mind has run off to. In spinning, you cannot whirl without being centered! It’s beautiful. As I visually see these things go by again and again and do not focus on them, I allow the colors and movement to wash together. So too is the way I want to relate to my emotions. The watcher, watching them, experiencing them, and yet also knowing they are not me. I am not my emotions. I can feel them, express them in healthy ways and not attach to them. To feel instead my center. Deep inside is a joy, a consciousness, connected to existance.

“Listen to your being. It is continuously giving you hints; it is a still, small voice. It does not shout at you, that is true. And if you are a little silent you will start feeling your way. Be the person you are. Never try to be another, and you will become mature. Maturity is accepting the responsibility of being oneself, whatsoever the cost. Risking all to be oneself, that’s what maturity is all about.”
― Osho

When I finish whirling and I bow. I’m so blissed out! Connected deeply with myself, I need not from others, but offer the playfulness of presence.

Here is a beautiful Rumi poem about whirling.